"For Better or Worse" Even a Broken Foot

“I think if you will get on that side and I’ll get over here, I can get this car started.  I’ll jump in when it starts rolling and you just jump back out of the way.” The young man said, nodding to the young lady with him.

So, she did as he said; she grabbed hold of the door handle and pushed with all her might.  After all, they had to get to the chapel because they were getting married today.

We got there just as their wedding was over.  We were to photograph the next wedding at Thorncrown. This couple’s photographer was coming down the pathway, camera focused on the couple; her in a wheel chair and him pushing her along. As they reached the parking lot, their photographer walked over to us.

“What a calamity”, said the photographer.

“How’s that?” John inquired.

“Well, they were coming here from Oklahoma and had a problem with their vehicle. They were pushing the vehicle and the back wheel ran over her foot and I think it’s probably broken.  They’re headed to the hospital as soon as we finish these pictures. Sure am glad Thorncrown had a wheelchair.”

Sure enough, when we checked later, her foot was broken, requiring surgery, so the couple spent their wedding night in the hospital.

The words  wedding vows, “for better or for worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live,” came early for this couple.  I’m sure this is not how they envisioned their wedding ceremony or their wedding night. But, when couples marry, there is no guarantee that life from the moment their vows are made, is going to be perfect.

I like the analogy Dr. Charles Swindoll uses.  He likens a marriage to remodeling a house.  He says, “It takes longer than you planned. It costs more than you figured. It is messier than you anticipated. It requires greater determination than you expected. Sometimes the only thing that keeps us going is hope!”

When our marriage commitments are made with agape love; the perfect love; the love God has for us, then they can survive anything. Perhaps when we recall that we are to do unto others; especially our spouses as though we were doing the same for our Heavenly Father, we will be a bit more patient and caring.

“And I, the King, will tell them, ‘When you did it to these my brothers, you were doing it to me!’ “ Matthew 25:40 TLB

Marriage is Forever

They had just graduated from college when our oldest grandson married his lovely bride in a very touching ceremony before family and friends. Three years later, upon completing her college degree, our oldest granddaughter and her husband were married in a beautiful ceremony in their college town in Texas. Fast forward three more years to last Sunday evening when our second oldest granddaughter, after graduating from the U of A the week before, married her best friend and the love of her life, in beautiful Thorncrown Chapel, with his dad officiating at the ceremony. There where their lives first intertwined almost 22 years ago.

When John and I married, he was a mature twenty-three and I was only eighteen. I am SO thankful for his maturity and patience in dealing with me those first few months. God tells us in His word that we should develop patience.

“May God who gives patience, steadiness, and encouragement help you to live in complete harmony with each other—each with the attitude of Christ toward the other.” Romans 15:5 TLB

 As one who has been married for almost 56 years, I can tell you that patience,steadiness and encouragement are three things that will help develop a good marriage. Patience with my burned biscuits and encouragement that my cooking would only get better with time was important to me.

 I remember one time in particular, I was in a hurry to make a cream pie. I had made a lot of apple pies and raisin pies before I married. For some reason, I don’t recall making a cream pie. John loved cocoanut pies so I was determined to make one. I rolled out the crust I had made from scratch; got it in the pie plate in one piece. I stirred the cream filling determined not to burn it on the bottom. I poured it into the pie shell and proceeded to make the meringue. I carefully spread that on top of the pie and placed it in the oven to brown. Upon taking the pie out of the oven, I discovered the crust wasn’t done. What had I done wrong? I called my mother crying,

“Mother, I just made this cream pie and baked it (sniff, sniff) and when I took it out of the oven, the crust wasn’t done.” By now, I was bawling. She told me that crust had to be baked before pouring in the filling. My poor husband ate that pie without complaining and I’m sure praying all along that my baking would improve.

 I’m thankful that my mother was close by and I could call her when I was in the depths of despair about my poor pie. However, God tells couples that upon marriage, they should depend on their mate and not on their parents. It’s that “leave and cleave” situation but more on that perhaps at another time. The main thing I think newlyweds must learn and “olderweds” need to ask themselves is : "Am I going to focus on what I get or what I give?" If we can exhibit agape love, the selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, our marriages will certainly have a much better chance of succeeding.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 ESV

 

 

Changes in Life

Have you ever considered why God put you where you are today?  Why were you not born during the Civil War or the Great Depression?  Why were you put in this town, in your family at this time?

I was thinking about this today as I contemplated the changes in life that come to all of us.  The things we are going through in life today would not have happened exactly as they have had we been born at a different time or to different parents.

My mother and daddy had been married fourteen years when I was born.  Mother was the oldest of six. Her mother worked and Mother looked after her siblings.  She use to tell me she remembered well when she was eight standing on a little stool at the old wood stove stirring gravy while holding a crying sibling on her hip with another one pulling on her dress and crying. She felt she had already raised a family when she married my daddy. They had been married two years when Black Tuesday happened and the stock market collapsed and the Great Depression came.  Those years were certainly not years to bring children in the world, to their thinking. So, it was that I was not a child of the Great Depression but a child of the Forties.

Because I was born when I was and where I was, I married my husband when I did.  Our children were born when they were and they married their mates and had their children.  When you stop to consider the ramifications of your birth, the location in which you live, the people you come in contact with, there are all kinds of changes that could have happened in your life.
Your life and mine were all planned out by our Heavenly Father before we
were even born.

“Before I shaped you in the womb,
    I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
    I had holy plans for you” Jeremiah 1:5A The Message

I think about those who are graduating from high school and college.  Most of them have already made plans for the next step in their lives.  They have chosen which college they will attend or which job they will apply for if they have just finished high school. If college is behind them, they are looking for employment in their field; they have plans to travel and see the world or they have found their soul mate and will be marrying soon.  All of these things would not be occurring now had God not planned for the lives of each one at the beginning of time.  That’s a pretty sobering thought, isn’t it?

“World events are under his control. He removes kings and sets others on their thrones. He gives wise men their wisdom and scholars their intelligence.” Daniel 2:21 TLB

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Wild flowers Saved the Day

“Wonder when the florist will be here?” said the anxious Mother of the Bride, ‘They said they would deliver the flowers at least twenty minutes before time for the wedding.“

“I’m sure they will be here if that’s what they told you,“ I said, trying not to show any anxiety. “You did tell them the Worship Center and not the Chapel, didn’t you?” I ask.

“Yes, I did.”

“Did you talk with them yesterday to confirm delivery time?” I inquired.

“No, should I have?” The Mother of the Bride was beginning to be more and more anxious.

It was an evening wedding and, as I looked at my watch, I realized the shop had already closed for the day. I hoped that they had closed the doors and headed this way.

A few more minutes past………..no florist. By now, the bride was in a bigger tizzy than she had been. She was in the dressing area; frantic because no flowers had arrived.

Well, what is a bridal consultant to do? Although we were just the photographers for this wedding and I wasn’t the consultant, I knew I had to do something to save the day…………..but what?

I went back outside hoping to see the florist drive up with bouquet, corsages and boutonniere in hand but there was no one other than the remaining guests who were arriving. It was then I spotted them; there on the hillside beside the drive to the Worship Center were wild flowers waving in the breeze just beaconing me to help myself.

“John, give me your pocket knife………quickly.” He proceeded to pull out his knife, open it and hand it to me. Onto the hillside I climbed amid the flowers. I began to cut them as fast as I could until I thought I had a sufficient amount. I clambered back down; rushed in and found a rubber band in the trusty case I always carried with me for those last minute needs of a bride. I hurriedly twisted the band around the flowers; fluffed them a bit and carried them into the bride.

“Honey, I guess these will have to do since it’s about five minutes before time for the wedding to begin.”

The bride was crying by then and I think if I had handed her a handful of weeds, she would have been thankful.

“Oh, thank you, thank you,” she said, amid her tears. “They are beautiful!”

The Mothers had no corsages; no boutonniere for the groom or fathers. But, the bride had a bouquet to carry that day.

I am glad I wasn’t within hearing distance at the flower shop the next day when the bride’s mother walked in. But, I was glad that God had placed those wildflowers there just when they were needed. I could have done without the chiggers that nested among them though. I itched for a week!

Isn’t it amazing how God provides for our needs? These weren’t the flowers the bride had planned for but for some reason, God provided what was necessary at the time. God doesn’t always fulfill our desires; He doesn’t always provide us with flowers and sunny days. Sometimes, there are the showers and the wildflowers, but there is always a reason for those. Perhaps, it’s so we will enjoy the things in life that we had overlooked.

 

“For he knows we are but dust and that our days are few and brief, like grass, like flowers, blown by the wind and gone forever.” Psalm 103: 14-16 TLB

What to wear........What to Wear

As I was contemplating the upcoming wedding of Granddaughter # 2, I went to my closet to see what this Grandmother might wear.  Not being the Mother of the Bride or Mother of the Groom, it really wasn’t all that important. After all, I might be seen briefly setting in the family section or maybe in a family picture but I certainly wasn’t going to be the center of attention. However, not wanting to embarrass our Granddaughter, I did want to at least look presentable. I am blessed with a number of  “Sunday Go To Meetin’ Clothes” so I did have choices.  The bright red two- piece might be a little flashy for this Grandmother; the pale green skirt with matching vest would be the right color but, my goodness, it had been in my closet for at least twenty years. Then, there was the lavender sheath dress with matching jacket enhanced with pale colored sequins……….that would be fine. I shuffled through the choices becoming more and more confused.  Again, I thought, “Why am I so concerned with my attire? I should just be glad I can be there to witness this wonderful uniting of two hearts and lives no matter what I’m wearing.”

Why are all of us so obsessed with our physical appearance?  Why do we stew and worry over what to wear to a special event or even what to wear to church on Mother’s Day or Easter? Do our earrings match the outfit?  What shoes can I wear with this?  Shouldn’t we be more concerned about how we look to God on the inside than how we look to others on the outside?

If we are Believers, we know that God is going to provide for our needs.  He may not give us all that we want, but we are assured by His Word that He cares for us.  We are important to Him; we are His children.  And, just as any parent provides for the needs of their child, He will provide for us. Shouldn’t we thank Him for our provisions by living the kind of life that would make Him proud to be our Father?

“Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”  Matt. 6:28-33 The Message

Together Forever.............

His sister was five……her sister was three…….he just turned three…..she was only a few weeks old.  A family no longer together just before she was born dictated that her, her sister and her mommy move to a new town. Mommy needed a job and found one immediately at a beautiful little glass chapel. His daddy worked there and his mommy became the baby sitter for her sister and her. At three years old, he was intrigued by her and would peak into her crib and then dance around, hoping to draw her attention. She would laugh at his silly antics. For almost a year, his mommy looked after her and her sister, and his daddy often carried her around on his shoulders while she laughed and held on.

Church on Sundays found them on the beautiful glass chapel grounds. In children’s church, the older kids loved to play with the pots and pans in the little kitchen. All of them loved to listen to the bible stories her babysitter and some other workers read. Even she, as small as she was, loved to sit on the babysitter’s lap while the stories were being read. She loved the pretty pictures in the book. And, she laughed while the bigger kids played all around her.

 It was a big day! She would be a year old in a week and her Mommy was getting married! His Mommy was her Mommy’s bridesmaid and his daddy sang at the wedding there on the grounds of the beautiful little glass chapel. Her Mommy, new Daddy, and her sister moved to a town close by but they kept in touch with the little family that she had grown to love.

 When she was two and he was five, his family moved away and the families kept in touch for a time. Fast forward sixteen years. She had just graduated from high school……social media was the going thing and there he was……that little boy all grown up. She instantly knew him when she saw his picture. Keeping in touch was easy once again with texting, phoning, and face timing. And, then they met…….face to face………for the first time in all those years.

 Fast forward four more years, she is graduating from college this week; he is finishing college in one year. This little boy, who was one of her very first friends, will become her husband next week when his dad officiates at their ceremony at that same beautiful little glass chapel from long ago. And now, after all these years, these two families will be reunited and united.

 There was that day many years ago that was painful….painful for all involved. It was as though God had closed the door to happiness......permanently. Yet, through the closing of that door, another door was opened; a door that lead to relationships and happiness that would never have happened otherwise.

 Are there times in your life when you feel all the doors to your happiness have been closed? You feel God has turned His back on you and you have nowhere to turn? Remember this; God has a plan. That plan may not reveal itself for weeks or months or even years but His plan is always perfect; His timing is always perfect. Be very careful not to step ahead of the One who created you; the One who knows you so much better than you know yourself. But, look for that open door He wants you to walk though.........thank Him.........walk through it and watch the blessings He has for you.

 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

 I love you, dear Granddaughter. I pray God’s blessings on you and the one He brought back into your life as you are united as one for a lifetime before your family, your friends and most of all, the God Who loves you both and has a plan for your lives together.

 "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 NIV

 

Tragedies in our lives

There is so much tragedy this week due to the weather. I suspect over the years all of us have been touched by some sort of tragedy. And, when it happens to us, we can’t help but wonder why.

I had just turned two when the tornado of 1942 struck and destroyed most of my hometown. Because of work, my parents and I were living in Salina, Ks. at the time so we were spared. But, my paternal  family wasn’t.  My grandparent’s home was destroyed; my grandfather was severely injured and my grandmother died a short time later from injuries suffered in that tragedy. My paternal family was bombarded by tragedies during the years my daddy was growing up and even after he was married. This tornado that took the life of my grandmother even before I got to know her was only one of them.

My paternal grandfather was known in the town as a good man and a very good businessman. But, there were things that he did that brought about tragedy and discourse within his family.  My grandmother was a wonderful woman by all accounts; a Christian woman I’m told, who loved the Lord and her family.  My grandfather, on the other hand, was raised in the home of a circuit riding preacher.  His dad was gone much of the time holding revivals here and there and my grandfather resented that he was away so much. So, going to church was not a priority for my grandfather when he left home. I’m sure my grandmother spent much of her life praying for the salvation of my grandfather and her children. But, his salvation and that of one of his sons was not to come until after her death.

It was a small country church and my parents and I had gone to one of the services.  We sat on the same pew with my grandfather, his brother and my uncle.  I remember so well, even though I couldn’t have been more than five or six, when the alter call came and those three men began bawling like babies. I don’t remember much of the details other than seeing them all raise their hands; tears flowing down their cheeks and asking the Lord to come into their lives. And, I remember later going to the river where they were all baptized.  I don’t know what brought about my grandfather’s salvation but I am almost positive it was the prayers of his wife, now deceased. And, perhaps, the knowledge of the tragedy that took her life, and the tragedies that took the lives of all of his children but two, over the years.

I see and read the news stories now of families torn apart by the ravishing storms that have taken place. And, yet, as I hear some of their stories, I’m reminded that even in death, God has gained a victory. Their testimonies of His love and faithfulness abound even through their tears.

Isn’t it amazing how we tend to believe that everything revolves around us?  That God should give us special priority because we are such good people? That He should never let tragedy or unhappiness come to  us because we are His people?  We never think about the fact that God uses tragedy to bring people to Him that otherwise might never know His saving grace.

Has God used a tragedy in someone else’s life to bless you?  Or a tragedy in your life to bless someone else? God put us on this earth to be a shining example of Him to those around us.  We are not here for our own selfish reasons.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20 NIV