It's Hard to Forgive Sometimes.

"I don't care how badly they want to me my friend again, I am NOT going to ever speak to them. You just don't know what they said about me. You would not believe it ! I wouldn't speak to them if they were the last person on earth !"

I can remember times when Daughter # 1 or Daughter # 2 would come home from school mad at one of their friends. They would mumble and grumble and whine and pout until they were miserable and I was miserable and their dad was miserable. I can still hear them as they shared every detail with me and then be on the phone with their friends sharing the same story with them until I almost had it memorized.

When bedtime came,I would go into their room to tell them goodnight and, there they were still fuming about So&So and how evil they were and how So&So had treated them. Tears would fall and I would have to set and listen to the story of their betrayal again. Then they would toss and turn until the wee hours. When morning came, they were still mad.They would make all sorts of unkind remarks about the person who had hurt them.Off to school they would go and I would pray that they didn’t have a confrontation with So&So at school.However, I learned to never be surprised when, after school, in they would come, happy as a lark and many times the person they were ready to behead the night before was with them.

How is it that kids find it so much easier to forgive then adults? As I read the posts on Facebook, I realize that so many people have unforgiveness in their hearts and they are miserable. I can understand unforgiveness.I have been in the position of carrying resentment and unforgiveness in my heart.And, I know that I was the one who was miserable; not the one I held the grudge against. I finally came to the realization that God is the one who will deal with the wrongdoing of another person; I don’t have to. I need to release that anger; quit trying to get revenge and trust God to right the wrong.I don’t think God will actually deal with the ones who have hurt us unless we put them fully in His hands. It’s very easy to give it all to God and then take it back when we don’t think He is handling it fast enough.

Jesus tells us it’s alright to be angry with another as long as we don’t continue to be angry.Anger is not sin; what you do with that anger can lead to sin. Ephesians 4:26-27 in The Message tells us this:

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.”

Anytime I was able to forgive someone it wasn’t that I wanted to forgive them. Do we sort of like the idea of holding a grudge and thinking about how badly we have been hurt ? But, I knew that if I didn’t forgive them, it would be difficult for God to forgive me the wrongs that I had committed. Oh, I have not conquered the art of forgiving by a long shot. I still have times when I am angry with someone and I have to sit myself down and give myself a good talking to.I have to ask myself what kind of an example am I setting for others if I cannot forgive. I must remember if I want forgiveness from God and others, I must be willing to forgive.

“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.” Matthew 6:14-15